Demons
by aynat
Summary: A trip down memory lane. What happened to Div Cvetic after he left?
1. Chapter 1

**Author:** aynat (©Tanya Long)  
**Description:** Now that Div had left worry and fear racked his brain. So many questions and it frustrated him that he didn't have the answers.  
**Spoilers:** First half of Season One.  
**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. Well I own some stuff... cool stuff... but nothing in this story. Div Cvetic is a character created by the wonderful folks who work with ER, and was portrayed by John Terry. He appaeared in most of the first eight episodes of ER.

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**Author's Note:** Watching the season one dvd's this week I was taken back in time to a time when ER was good television. Back when Mark Greene, Doug Ross, Peter Benton and John Carter still roamed the halls, back when the show balanced the ER with the personal lives perfectly. Back when relationships and silly soap opera stories weren't all that was being written. (ahem Sorry for the rant, I'm just not impressed with ER anymore). Anyways, as I watched I began to fall in love with Div Cvetic again. He was my favourite charater when the show started 'cause he seemed like an awesome guy and a great doctor. Unfortunately he wasn't around for long. As I watched I began to wonder what happened to him, how he made it through and I decided it would make an excellent story to write. This is based on ER and an ER character so it is _fanfiction_, but it doesn't involve any major characters, past or presnt, save for a mention or two.

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**Background Info:** If you are unaware of Div Cvetic's character, or need a refresher he was a doctor in the Psych Department. His character had a frequent presence in the first few episodes of ER as Susan Lewis' boyfriend, but in the last couple episodes he appeared in he had become irrate and unpredicatble. He was beginning to jump down patients throats, staff's throats and even Susan's. Susan had come to believe Div was clinically depressed but he wouldn't let her close enough to help him

The last we saw of Div he was walking down the middle of a busy street with rain pouring down. He was doging through the traffic, apparently ignoring everything as he fought his demons within. A couple episodes later Susan went to take him his Christmas present only to find his house apartment cleaned out with no sign of where he went. The phone was ringing and finally Carter, who had driven her there, picked it up only to have the person on the other end hang up. At the end of season one Susan sees a snapshot of Div with a woman in a dating service book owned by a taxi driver who runs the dating service on the side. The driver tells Susan that thanks to his service Div is happily married to the woman, her name is listed as _Ronda Vidor_ in the book, and she who owns a chain of mortuaries.

Not a lot was revealed about Div, except that he is older than Susan and was previously married. This is all I had to work with, a blank page really.

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**Demons**

The room was dark except for the light from the fire, the only noise the crackling of burnt wood. Div sat still on the sofa, a photograph in his hands. Taken only a couple weeks before it showed a happy couple holding a brand new baby girl. He remembered the day, he remembered posing for the photograph but he didn't recognize himself. Anyone looking at the photo would see him as a lucky man, a happy man. They would be fools.

Div looked around the room, squinting to see through the dim light of the fire. This wasn't his home, this was simply where he lived. Upstairs his wife was asleep, their daughter in a crib by the bed. It was two in the morning and he knew he should be asleep too, but he couldn't sleep. He couldn't remember the last time he had really slept.

Two years ago he walked away from everything in his life, his girlfriend, his job, his responsibilities. Only a few months later he had married Ronda after meeting through a dating service and he came to believe it had all been meant to be. Slowly as time wore on he began to feel the mask he wore fading away. More and more Ronda asked him what was wrong, but like his usually self he just shrugged it all off and insisted he was fine. He didn't want to talk, no one could understand.

Looking back at when he first began to feel so unattached he still couldn't see what had started the whole downward spiral. Yes his job was difficult, but he'd been doing the same job for fifteen years. He was proud of it, least he had been. He was good at what he did, he made a difference in peoples lives. He told himself it was the difficulty of his divorce, but it seemed unlikely that a nasty divorce would lead to so much trouble six years later. Then again, everything started when he fell in love again so that could be the trigger.

Shaking his head he placed the photograph back on the side table. _Always thinking like a psychiatrist,_ he thought to himself as he relaxed back into the couch cushions. _Why can't I ever just... think?_

Hearing a sound behind him he looked up to see Ronda standing there. Feeling a sense of deja vu his mind reeled back to Susan Lewis kneeling in front of him asking him what was wrong. He knew Ronda would ask that too, and his answer would be the same. "I'm just catching up on work," he whispered as Ronda watched him carefully. "I'll be to bed soon."

Nodding she turned around and headed back upstairs without saying a word. Div closed his eyes and hung his head, a million thoughts raising through his mind yet he couldn't understand a single one. That seemed to happen more often now, he was sure it was causing the headaches he'd been experiencing. Taking a deep breath he straightened up, preparing to go upstairs. Reconsidering he grabbed a pillow from a nearby chair and stretched out on the couch. This was as good a place as any.


	2. Chapter 2

He reached for the box he kept in the corner of the closet, hidden from view. No one would find it if they didn't know what they were looking for. He tried to be as quiet as possible, though he wasn't sure why. The house was empty, he was alone. Alone to contemplate, to reminise, to plan. As he pulled the box onto his lap the plan was already beginning to form.

Pulling out everything he had left from before, his former life, he began to question himself. Why had he left? Why did he leave and never look back? Did anyone care? Did anyone wonder where he was? Did Susan? He held a photograph of the two of them taken on the hospitals rooftop. He remembered that day, it had been incredibly chilly. He kept his arms around her to keep her warm, though his arms were covered in goosebumps. He remembered that night... that had been a bad night.

He was never sure when to tell Susan he'd been married before. He didn't want to wait too long, so he choose that night. She tried to stay calm, but he saw the pain on her face. He should have told her sooner. He hung his head in shame as he remembered the emotions that flickered across her eyes.

Pulling himself up he placed the box on the bed. He slipped the photo in his back pocket, and removed other small things he felt he needed. Then he slipped his wedding ring off and dropped it in the box. It was time to move on again.

He wondered if he should leave Rhonda a note, try to explain what had gone wrong. He decided against it. Surely it would do nothing more than hurt her. How could he rationalize leaving, abandoning her. Abandoning their daughter. He still wasn't sure he was doing the right thing, how could he convince her? So no, he wouldn't leave a note. He would just leave.

Grabbing a few shirts and a couple pairs of pants he went outside and threw them into the backseat of his car. He wouldn't take anything else. She deserved to keep everything. Sitting behind the wheel the contemplated going back inside. Staying. But he knew he couldn't. Turning the key he started as the car roared to life. Laughing at himself he threw the car into reverse and giving the house one last look, he left. 


End file.
